Trigger Warning: Sexual abuse. Violence against Women.
Romance novels such as Nora Roberts’ “From the Heart” perpetuate the endless cycle of rape culture by not acknowledging the severity and significance of sexual abuse and it’s impact on all women, including its readers. Not only the women themselves, but their loved ones of any gender, and their future loved relations can all be impacted by experiences with sexual trauma. It can impact and even impede future love relationships from happening at all. That’s why romance novels can be such a source of safety and escape from the perils of what many women have experienced. But is it a safe place for women to go?
From the 2 books I’ve read from Nora Roberts, “The Awakening” and “The Becoming” I really enjoyed her writing style and especially the fantasy. She’s known more for her romance novels, 225 of them to be exact. She’s an award winning author with a career of over 40 years. I would say she’s one of the most popular romance novelists with the baby boomers, and is still churning, and evolving.
When I first started reading the book in “From the Heart” titled “Tonight and Always”, I loved the smoothness, the sweetness, and how the characters took so quickly to one another without so much of the push and pull other romance novels can have. There was an element of surrender on both parts, and growth. However, when I got to the end of the novel, I was grossly disappointed, and I mean grossly.
Spoiler Alert. The male love lead angrily shows up and rapes his female lover because she’s left him and he doesn’t know why. She eventually surrenders and “gives him this”, feeling bad for what she’s done by leaving. In the morning, he sees the bruises and feels remorse, acknowledging later that he has to carry this for the rest of his life. The female lead however, never needs to forgive him, or even acknowledges the impact of what he’s done, because the plot instead focuses around the hurt his mother caused her by blackmailing her to leave him in the first place. That’s what she’s focused on, rather than that the man she trusted and loved her betrayed her and bruised her while boning her senseless. She immediately within a few minutes of the conversation when he tracks her down and finds her again (not creepy at all) forgives him and just pages later in the epilogue they are happy together at Christmas as a family, WTF?
Nevermind that the twin babies they have are probably a result of the rape, knowing that rapists don’t often use birth control when raping their partners, even those they later say they “loved”.
I noticed in the scene where the victim tells her grandfather why she’s upset they broke up, that she doesn’t mention that the last time she saw her lover was when he left after raping her. What makes this ok?
Because if Nora did write this in, the protective grandfather who raised her and was her savior would have gone beserk instead of encouraging them to get back together.
It looks like this novel was initially published in 1983, and re-released as part of “From the Heart” marketed as a collection of three of Nora’s favorite stories, dated 2010 in Amazon. Nothing like an unacknowledged rape swept under the carpet to meet my personal favorites list. “Three timeless romances… this collection will appeal to a new generation of Nora Roberts fans.” (Goodreads.com) Yes, it looks like this was written in the 80s, but that’s no excuse to re-release it without making morally aligned changes. Rape was not okay then, and it’s not okay now. If it was meant to be a period piece, or a social commentary on the times, it should be marketed as such. And who exactly is this new generation of patriarchal feminists that will Love reading rape in Romance novels? I’m surprised to see them in the fan club. Rape may have been more culturally acceptable in the 80s, but it’s shameful that it still is. Thanks for making one more safe place for women unwelcome.
That’s the problem with not just “society” at large, but each individual contributing to this culture by making it “okay”, by not saying anything when signs of rape culture are in front of our eyes, or even coming from our own lips. People let others remarks slip by without saying anything. They are so unconscious they might not even pause themselves and realize their words, “Oh that’s wrong”. A majority don’t stop to question a condescending, sexist, or violent joke, “What did you mean by that comment?” Or stop to question the “normalcy” of the media around them, and that which their kids are infused with and digesting. “Did you notice how that woman was sexually harassed on that episode, and not one person in the office acted like anything was wrong?”
If no one stops to point out that things are not okay, then this constant cycle of abuse will continue to be perpetuated, and it moves from generation to generation, making it “okay” to treat women with violence, even to the point of women not only accepting it themselves, but expecting it from the world.
Rape and sexual violence against women is so normalized in society that even female authors are pre-programmed to accept and perpetuate it. Somehow female authors don’t think violence against women is something that needs to be addressed and acknowledge to promote an atmosphere and culture of respect for all women, and to honor and help heal the survivors of domestic and sexual violence that are likely a majority of their readers. Not only can reading about sexual violence without a warning can be triggering, but also re-traumatizing. It can have the effect to make what a survivor experienced seem “okay”, or unimportant. It’s not validating their experiences and can become another form of subliminal gaslighting. Any woman’s sexual experience is something that should be honored and acknowledged.
Romance novels whose readers are a majority of women, are a conduit for what can be beautiful healing, for their self love, and to see what a beautiful, sexually fulfilling and healthy relationship with themselves, or a partner could look like. Women have options, and not every romance novel or type of sex presented in romance novels, are going to be their flavor, but that’s for them to choose. Normalizing rape and sexual violence against women in romance novels, and not providing Trigger Warnings for novels where violence is present, is one more way to take away women’s voices.